Sexy Mobile SMS

1) 7 Year OLD boy Being Trialed In court 4 rape. Layer holding boy’s Penis MY LORD,! Ye Baccha Kya Rape Kar sakta hai ,
Boy: “Ziyada math hila warna case haar Jayain gay !”

2) For a woman Every Man is Terrorist. First he attacks her Twin Towers & then He Destroys her Pentagon & then Thrusts a missile in Her Bunkers

3) Boy: Can I Touch ur Software.
Girl: First Show Me ur Hardware.
Boy: Should I Install it In ur System.
Girl: Cover it with anti virus &then Install.

4) Newton's 3 laws.
1.Every man has a pole, woman has a hole
2.When pole enters hole, it produces a new soul
3.When hand in motion, it produces lotion.

5) RED ALERT: Bird Flu has taken 10 lives So far in S.E. Asia .U R advised 2-change Ur underwear 2 times a day “TO PROTECT your COCK”

6) A man is dying of Cancer.His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom

7) What do u get when u have sex with a judge, banker & architect?Judge- Honourable discharge.
Banker- Premature withdrawal.
Architect- Illegal erection.

8) Nipple Nipple dont be far,
Can I Press u in my car.
Up above the chest so high,
Always milky never dry.
Let me suck u don't feel shy,
In the braziers u will die

9) What does a girl mean when she offers pepsi?P= please
E=enter
P=penis
S=slowly
I=inside
"aha" yeh dil mange more.

10) Husband ask,"Do u know meaning of WIFE - Without Information Fighting Everytime!!! "Wife replies,"It means - With Idiot For Ever!!!

11) Girls have Stupid Specialty .they get WET w/out bath, They BLEED w/out injury .They give Milk w/out eating grass .They make boneless things HARD without ……….

12) Man walked into ladies toilet. Lady who was inside shouted 'THIS IS EXCLUSIVELY FOR WOMEN'. The man, unzipping his pants said, 'THIS TOO'!

13) Son to Dad-Daddy, does a heart have legs? Dad-of course not! Son-don't lie, I heard u saying "sweet heart..spread ur legs!"

14) A woman gave birth to 6 babies, on seeing this she got off the hospital bed and slapped her husband and shouted, "I told u not to do in doggy style."

15) 3 Sardar were stroking there cock very fast n hard in restaurant.
waitress: What the hell r u doin? Sardar:V r hungry & the menu says "FIRST CUM FIRST SERVE".

16) Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?Ahmed : I want 2 b a pilot.James : I want 2 b a doctor.Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother. Asif : I want 2 help Deepa .

17) Dear lady subscribers: due to a fault in magnetic field and signals of our service your handsets will vibrate for one hour So keep it in your pussy & enjoy! *Customer Care*

18) The 'F' rule:- Find her..., Friend her..., Flirt her..., Finger her..., Fuck her..., Forget her.

19) Doctor says: A penis is the greatest breakfast because it has a mushroom head, a hotdog, 2 eggs and cream which provides all the nutrients 2 make women healthy.

20) A priest saw a girl removing her blouse. The priest prayed: God, please close my eyes. When he opened his eyes, the girl was naked This time he prayed God please close your eyes.

21) An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.you name pls. " abdul aziz "sex? " six times a week!! "no, no, I mean male or female! "doesn't matters, sometimes even camel!!! " 23) what makes a happy man? daughter on the cover of cosmo. son on the cover of sports illustrated mistress on the cover of playboy and .... wife on the cover of " missing persons " 24) teacher: what do you want to become?
li'l Johnny: doctor !!
teacher: why? lj:
bcoz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

22) Woman complaining to dentist it ' s so painful; I ' d rather have a baby than have a tooth removed. Dentist make up your mind soon, I ' ll adjust the chair accordingly.

23) Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. Wanted her tombstone to read BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN. The engraver shortened it to " RETURNED UN OPENED "

24) 75 year old man got married to a 15 yr girl. On their first night both were crying. why??? bcoz she didn ' t know anything, and he had forgotten everything

25) AGE OF BOOBS: 14 to 16 LEMON, 17 to 22 ORANGE 23 to 28 MANGO, 29 to 40 TENDER COCONUT, 41 to 55 USED PILLOW, 56 to 65 AIR REMOVED BALLOON.

26) Mobile is the only thing that a man proudly says - Mine is smaller than yours!

27) A woman worries about The future until She get a husband .A man never worried about the future until he get a wife.

28) SMS Means: S - SexuallyM - MotileS - Stageso keep messaging me when you at puberty.

29) Lovers send SMS when they are in a Sexually Motile Stage.so keep messaging me when you are in toilet. my dear lover.

30)Newtans Law of LOVE,
Love neither can B created nor B destroyed,
It can only be changed from 1 girl friend 2 another…
Got it?

31) SEASON DHAMAKA
Send UR GIRL FRIEND …2 ME & GET A CHILD………FREE ………HURRY UP
FIRST 10 WINNERS WILL GET TWINS

32) A Child : Had Never Seen His “HIPs” .Once His Teacher Beat him on his Hips. He came back home N saw his hip, in mirror N said
“KAMEENAY NAY DO TUKRAY KAR DIYE”

33) Sachin Married with an Old women , Kumlay Married a widow
Why ? Becz a batesman Like an old Ball and a Bowler Likes a Used Ball
Zulfiqar .4:7:05

34) Last night in summer a girl foned in KESC & SAID, Me ALONE & LIGHT Is not here .Plz send a man..second 1 said .mam m alone here 2 plz use my candle.

35) Girls Goes to repair an umbrella. MECHANIC SAID: Uper ka kapra utarna paray ga Nechay say Danda dalna parey Ga . GIRL says : kuch Be karo Lekin pani Ander nahi jahey

36) Sex karo Daily Agar who mil jahay Akeli Agar na millay Akeli toh pakar lo uski Saheli……Agar na melli Saheli toh Zindabad Hatheli BUT sex karo daily……

37) A man & women were making Love .Man say Back Back, Left Left, Turn right back again now forward. Women says are U fucking me or parking me

38) Kuch Log Thori der Kartay hain Or Kuch Log Sari Sari Rath kartay hain Tab jaa kar hota hai unka Mobile charge…..

39) 1st Girl : Bos kay Table May Condom Pary Hai
2nd Girl : Ha May nay B dakay tay. May nay to unko Panchar kar dia.
3rd Girl : Gusay may Kamini mujay to bataya hota

40)Hows my Darling Honey Sweety/ My baby bunch cuties cuties? Come on give Me a Hug; Mumm……U smel gud ! Hw r u ? u missed me / come on eat ur Pedigree !

41) Govt Warning : Kising Females sex organ is dangerious 2 ur health Becz its 5% Urine , 3 % acidic,2 % fat & 90 %addictive ..He hehe Kiss MODERATELY

42) A boy Asked a girl whats between ur legs.She said : “LAKEER”.
Then girl asked the Boy whats is between ur legs.
He said: “LAKEER KA FAKEER”
Khalid Peshawar

43) When U see 2 balls B/w ur legs, It means that u r strong a gentle man. &if u C 4 balls between ur legs don’t get Surprise .It means someone is fucking U.

44) How does a cricket commentator describe a naked women? NO NO Cover No Extra Cover NO SLIP, 2 SILLY Points Two Fine Legs & a deep gully , Little grass on the Pitch

45) In the Beginning it is 7 times a day then 7 times a week then tri a week & then try a week

46) He : pora ander Gaya?
She : YES
He : dard Howa ?
She : Haan
He : ab Fit hai
She : Perfect
He : R U comfortable
She : Zabardast
He : array Madam ko Sandle pack kar K doo

47) Mom : Tujay Larka Pasand aaya ho to Baat agay chalagen
Girl : Larka to teek Hay But mota hai………
Mom : T.V Chahay 14" Ka ho Ya 29" Ka REMOTE 6" Ka he hota hai

48)Judge TO Sardar : why do U want a diverce?
Sardar: she doesn’t satisfied me in bed.
Sardar’s Wife “yar sari Colony Khush Hai eik tari he ahgg nahi Bujhte”