It is not the first time that a friend has turned me down. Not the first time someone walked out on me. So it is definitely not the first time that I felt humiliated, but the fact that it was not the first time doesn’t mean that it hurts any less.
I just wanted everyone in my friends circle to be in a cordial, healthy relationship with me. I can’t turn my back on people at social gatherings or at events. People should be emotionally stable to be able to smile at each other. I can, and I did that. I did an ice breaker talk also, to which an embarrassing smirk and dead silence was the response. At that moment I wanted to stab myself, but I can hardly turn my face away from one single person, if they are part of the crowd of familiar faces that I am with. Anyways, this person who was once a good friend, could hardly make an eye contact with me. Now this is probably out of guilt of a very depressing kind. I was not at fault, and therefore I could make a move to talk, without the fear of the type of response, and without hesitation of the mildest kind..without even a tiny speck of guilt or regret of any kind pulling me back. I was clear, confident and level headed.
This is the point where one should get an awareness of self respect and dignity to oneself. I realized it at the right time. I have no regrets that I made an attempt to talk. Because years later, when I sit back and flip across my photo albums, I can tell myself that I lost this person from my friends circle with no fault of mine, and it would never give me a reason to regret.
So mister, you are around ten years elder to me, but I guess I am a thousand times wiser than you. Years from now, you will look different, but if you continue to be the small person that you are, it will be a phenomenon of the weirdest kind. Anyways, thank you for whatever you had been long back, I will pray that you grow up soon, and I am sorry, I just shift-deleted you from my memories forever. Take care!
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