Rules for Corporate Survival.

This post has been written after sleepless nights of software coding. Please excuse me if any characters in this post resemble anyone who is living or might possibly be murdered in future.


Nowadays even TV makes me sick.. especially when I was soberly watching the news and video clips on Haiti and Chile..when the news broke for commercials and Aishwarya Rai cat walked into the screen saying that she is on a mission to save the world…from hair damage. Outrageous.

Here is a half baked set of corporate survival kit.. fresh from the best teacher ever – Ms.Experience.

1. Do not say that you completed your work unless and until it is tested n(n+1)  times, reworked, rewritten,    and re-refined.

2. Whenever there is an issue or escalation, do not take sick leave. Or in plain terms….DONT FALL SICK! There are other sick people who decides when you should fall sick.

3. If you stay up late, no one notices. If noone is watching, why the hell are you in office!

4. Ensure stewardship in work …Ironically you will not take that software home, nor will you get one millionth of the profit.

5. Do not think out of the box. Think within the Technical Design.

6. However vague, clueless and misleading it may be, the design is always right.

7. It is practically impossible to exceed expectations.

8. If you cling to the boss’s shoes, you will get hike and promotion. If you do your work independently in your workstation, you will draw the same salary mentioned in your offer letter for the rest of your life.

9. Always a critical mail or call happens when you use the rest room, or go to the cafeteria. This means that you are careless and not serious with your work.

And finally, end of the day…

10. You are a just a ' human resource’ and not a human being.

Happy Slogging!